six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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