So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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