PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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