Where is the hickey?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
do herpes really smell.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
