Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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