i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
