Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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