i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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