There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize