VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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