But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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