I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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