We're facebook friends in real life
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize