none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
