shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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