she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
