does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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