i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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