I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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