On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize