So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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