GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
