You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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