I'm really into asian looking animals
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
This toilet bowl is my home.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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