I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
