So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
