He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
