How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
