So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
