He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
