AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
