the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
