She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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