since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize