He is such a slut. More and more my type.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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