Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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