You're a womanizer and a bitch.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
