White coat. Heels.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Randomize
