so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
