We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
