My room smells like vodka and shame
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
