You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
