So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
