Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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