I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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