How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
