Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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