What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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