Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
