Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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