Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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