can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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