PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
