she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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