Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
