hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Just high enough for therapy.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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