Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
