how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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