there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize