I am puke
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
