im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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