awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize