So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
