How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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