so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
