sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
