There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
