God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
