So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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